all I want for christmas

all I wish for right now are the sweet nights around christmas time. the white, powdery snow outside my windows, glimming and glistering in the dimmed lights of the street lights.
solid walls, days with no sunlight, where the suns never even seems to rise, and my red, softly streamed guitar. the silent sound of my sisters breath, in the dark at night, mixed with soft tones from the guitar.
my lovely freedom. I just wish I could få en lugn stund, en lugn, skön avslappande månad. trots jobbstress och blöta sockar vill jag one single easygoing month, where I can relax tills jag inte behöver det på länge igen.
det värsta jag kan tänka mig just nu är att inte kunna hantera mina känslor, because I know I have a hard time dealing with myself. lately, I've been thinking far too much, which I partly wish I wouldn't, but still am glad too. om jag inte hade tänkt, då hade jag mått värre om jag hade sparat det igen tills jag var ensam och ingen kunde lägga sig i. I want someone to interfere, though I still want my privacy. very hard to explain, but even harder to understand, especially if you haven't been through it yourself.

all I want for christmas is joy and love.